Have you ever been on a ride, where initially you were a little afraid, as you didn’t know what to expect? Then after a few minutes, the ride becomes more enjoyable. You feel the wind in your face, you’re smiling from ear to ear because you can’t believe how great it is!
Ups, downs, sharp lefts, sharp rights, upside down – the works!
Then abruptly the ride ends… leaving you disappointed.
I’ve had a couple of relationships that came to a complete stop. But like the rollercoaster ride, you build a connection, you come to enjoy it and you hope it doesn’t end. Your hope to make the type of friends that are for life.
All relationships change… they all evolve to a different stage. A simple friendship that seemed to revive your soul, sparkle return to your dull eyes, adding pip to your step, and had you smiling from ear to ear. Making plans for life! You are happy, and excited in life again, as if suddenly the world you’ve know was turned on its axis.
You look back at everything as B.T.F /A.T.F – before that friendship, and after that friendship began. It seems as if 1940 are just ending and color tv has now been implemented into our lives.
And suddenly……. you no longer matter, you lose your luster in their eyes.
And you ask… “What happened?” “What did I do?” or “What didn’t I do?” And sometimes, you don’t get an answer, so you start to drive yourself crazy, with..,. “Was it this…or could it have been that……?”
Sometimes the standard answer is given… “It’s me, not you”. That’s when you have to learn to just move on. If you’ve done your part, and your effort isn’t reciprocated, than you move on.
In both relationships where this happened. I allowed doubt, self disappointment to lay roots in the cracks “between thoughts and feelings.”
And, after many days and nights of mourning, my heart and mind finally came to an agreement…”get over it!” It’s until these two agree, that the advice given by other dear friends, finally made sense. “Just let it be…”
“Only YOU have the power to either dwell in the mud, or rinse off and move on.”
One friend said, “It could be simply that person is done with you having purpose in their life. You’ve played the necessary role in their life, and they’ve grown. Just like you should.”
My initial response, “OUCH!” It was hard to move on. I had created a bond that I had always longed for. So hearing this, at first made my heart ache. But after, gallons of tears, boxes and boxes of kleenex, the classic movies of BFFs and breakups, and a playlist of songs that reflected my pain. Queue TLC – “What about your friends..”
I finally came to the realization that, “Okay, maybe this relationship died, but I didn’t.”
So I took their advice. After much self examination, coaching, meditating I found the bright side to this sad chapter in my life.
I learned from it, I grew because of it, and in turn found myself and learned to love me. I read a quote that absolutely hit the spot, “I didn’t change, I found myself.”
If you find yourself dwelling, and miserable… it’s because YOU want to. Not because you have to, no one is forcing you to stay stumbled. Get up, acknowledge your situation, and remember YOUR worth. If you need to, remenize on what once was, do so. Analyze what you learned from that relationship, or event in your life. Smile that it happened, because whether good or bad, you grew from that experience.
Get on a new ride…the ride of YOUR life. While on your ride, close your eyes and enjoy the wind, enjoy the excitement, the ups and downs…because life goes on!