Refinance myself

There are some moments in life when your are at the brink of something and you are fully committed to it. Sometimes it’s a decision of a split second that sometimes is the best…. “Choosing the Cajun Shrimp Fettuccine was the best choice, and my tummy agrees!”


Then, there are the decisions that you rummaged over for weeks, or even months… and then you finally pop the question.

However, in some of these decisions made…picking the red pill instead of the blue…you can’t undo (thanks, Morpheus, a little heads up or FYI would have been useful.)

“Selling your soul”. A phrase many jokingly speak of, but when you have…it’s no joking matter.

Especially, when you’ve signed on an invisible dotted line, if you will. When you have vowed to be loyal, to be “in it” through thick and thin. No, not talking about the wedding vows. But the vow of being true to you, to your foundation engraved in your DNA and have made you, you.

Beliefs have been etched into minds, more as tradition and not out of true enlightenment, or self-convincement. An automatic entrenched, learned instead of a belief that has been etched into one’s heart, from proving to oneself it is so.

The real duel… mind vs heart.

We’ve all been through that fight… sometimes even to round 9 only to be disappointed to see the outcome. KO!

We allow ourselves to entertain the What if’s.

“What if it’s not what I really wanted? What if there was someone better out there? What if the Altima was better than the Audi? — Not usually the case, but still a valid question, depending on budget no doubt.

That is where the pool of regret starts to form. And, as you allow it to form, drop by drop… what if after, what if…. it starts to overfill. How is THIS beneficial?

It’s not.

Let’s pull the plug, and allow the regret to dissipate down the drane. Why?

Because… the decision has been made, there is no “going back in time”. Believe me, I’ve wished upon that star… pleeeeeeenty of times.

So, if my only control is the now, then fold up the sleeves, pen on paper, fingers on keyboards and hit go. Future decisions can start to be made.

Such as, reviewing the fine print, the small details, or the situations that caused your doubt to start. You know, such as thinking that the grass was actually greener on the other side.

Photo credit:

When in reality…it’s was synthetic grass, the visual pleasure of what I thought was going to be “the real happiness” turns out to be a fluke. Faux happiness.

So maybe we can refinance ourselves, but in different terms. A realistic plan, with factors of failure of the past, details that should have been taken in consideration, and cross out the terms that didn’t work, and marked the new terms and conditions of our soul contract with our mind.


Even choosing a new lender, all together.  But, this time, please read and be aware of the small print.


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