Change your filter

As I lazily looked through the pages of a magazine, though many different models appeared, I stopped at one particular girl. She was very pretty, beautiful smile, but something about the look in her eyes seemed to me very insincere. But of course, I shrugged my shoulders and move on.

At that moment a co worker passed by and I asked his opinion on her, and he said “false advertisement”.

That caught me off guard. I asked him why he said that, and he stating his past disappointments with women. “After the “wooing” stage of a relationship the girl changes”. He sits on his chair, and plays with a ball against the wall…he continues, “She doesn’t wear makeup, she’ll wear sweats all the time, she stops going all out for the guy.”

I listened, and pondered. And then, it hit me…

“Oh, no he di’int’!” The latina in me heated up! That to me is a bunch of -whatever! And I will tell you why. (I won’t go into the fact that men change, they grow weary and look to greener pastures)

A very large percentage (NOT ALL * there are exceptions…) of men only look at appearances BEFORE they get to know the girl. I UNDERSTAND that physical chemistry has a lot to do with someone allowing the opportunity to further the initial “meet and greet”. But more men will “write” off a particular woman because she doesn’t have the right proportion (she’s fluffy) that they are looking for, or the right hair color (not a blonde).

MEN! Wake up! SO many men have overlooked a great person because of their looks. Don’t give me this garbage of “false advertisement” because it’s your fault you end up with disappointments. Why? Because YOU look for THAT “look” instead of giving the girl the opportunity to show you how great she is! Of actually seeing the real her.

Meghan (photo courtesy of Gary Edlund

Gina Botello



I am not saying that the perfect girl doesn’t come in an “all inclusive package”. I know of several beautiful young women (all pictured above) — they are very intelligent, very witty, walking encyclopedia/dictionary/thesaurus, etc… who are genuine “Good girls”. They can make you laugh so hard you cry! They have the whole package going on. So I know that those packages exist.

It’s just that a lot of men sure miss out on women, who are witty, genuine, kind, caring, intellectual, and would make you a happier person. But, because of their filter “criteria” for dating so many have slipped them by.

I have a great friend who for quite sometime had been looking for that “someone”. What did he bring to the table? Great personality, great dancer, super funny, spiritual, very intelligent, and fabulous cook. Added value? VERY good looking.

Knowing what a great catch he was, and knowing he was on the “prowl” — I tried to get him to meet several of my really good friends, who knowing his personality and theirs, had them meet each other. These girls were “down to earth goodness”, and would give their all to a relationship. They would be someone you’d be happy to bring home to mother.

His take on them….she’s too short, she’s not enough blah…she’s too blah…blah…blah… she’s married…. JK….

Found HIS flaw…

He always found a “superficial” reason that wouldn’t allow him the chance to get to know them to a deeper level. So when he kept asking me about my friends, I no longer had any… I wasn’t going to allow them to be cherry picked. End of story ? He finally found someone who DIDN’T fit his initial criteria. Perplexed? He grew up. Got married, and now have their first child — all is good!

What it took? He changed his “filter”.

Moral of the story — don’t be superficial! End of the day… ALL that makeup comes off, and if she is not as pretty with that off, and doesn’t have the “persona” to backup all that “pretty” you are going to be disappointed on a greater scale — ALWAYS.

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